Go Forth and Appreciate!

A weird thing happened to me today, and I am in a terribly satisfied mood.

I am a big believer in living and loving for the moment. This does not mean spending all your money and indulging in base desires (although, when it comes to food, I do tend to believe in indulgence)- but it means not being afraid of the future, not letting yourself settle for something less than what you are looking for, and not waiting to appreciate people until they are gone. Rather like that quote, "Live as if you'll die tomorrow," which I tried to attribute to someone but has been, apparently, said by everyone and their mother, so screw it.

And so, today, I was in a very good mood and wrote a very appreciative letter to the Boyfriend, which is not terribly weird for me, although long letters are not something I do regularly- after all, if you're not in the mood, they take even more time and effort and become rather like work, something I tend to avoid (as part of the darker side of Living in the Moment).

When I finished, it was close to my bedtime and I was very sleepy. I trekked upstairs to tell my family I was going to bed, and on the way down, I slipped, a tiny tiny bit. I am a very clumsy person, so to me, this slip was barely worth noticing, since I didn't even fall on my ass, or bruise something, or even experience pain. Seriously, I moved less than an inch. But the part of my head that is aware of these sorts of things watched me fall all the way down the stairs and break my neck.

I don't experience visions very often, and I doubt this one was the work of anything more than an active and rather morbid imagination fueled by a love of detective shows, but it made me pause. I felt so fulfilled, having sent that letter. Don't get me wrong, dying right then would have sucked, but if dying were to have happened, I would have been so glad that I had sent the Boy that letter beforehand.

The point of this post is not that someday we will die and so we should do stuff before it's too late. The point isn't to focus on the dying, it's to focus on the living. I was thinking about this, before I wrote this post, and I was motivated to write a short letter to each of my friends, telling them why I believe they're wonderful. Telling someone they are appreciated can cheer someone up after a crappy day or keep them from committing suicide, but I am not trying to explain how I am surrounded by people who are at risk for offing themselves- I am just surrounded by people I love, and I'm lucky for that. I hope they know it- in fact, I told them, just in case they don't.

So go on, write a letter when the mood strikes, or make an appointment to meet a friend over some sort of amenable beverage, or make a short call. Don't force yourself to labour over something for hours and hours- it doesn't even have to be long, if you're not feeling verbose. But do me a favour. If you find yourself thinking of someone, even if you don't have that much to say, tell them. The only downside might be forcing yourself to deal with a little awkwardness, and that's a healthy thing to be doing, anyway.